2 types of friendship

James 4:1-10New International Version (NIV)

Submit Yourselves to God

4 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

4 You adulterous people,[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us[b]? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”[c]

7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

As we continue our study through the book of James. James goes on to describe two types of friendship. The first type is a Friendship with the world (4:1-5).  Friendship with the world causes conflict with others, conflict within yourself, and ultimately conflict with God. James talks about fights among the church, but the fights are more thank likely because they have lost sight of where the true battle was. The world wants us to focus on wanting more stuff, to prioritize our comforts, and to ignore the poor while we focus on ourselves. Satan would like nothing more to cause fights among us over things that really don't matter and have little focus on what the real battle actually is. We must resist friendship with the world. Friendship with the world comes from the sinful desires of the flesh.  All conflict comes from desires within us, desires that are motivated by a longing for earthly pleasure. In verse 3 the prayers of the people were even self centered. We are to seek what is best for the sake of God's name  not our own. We should want His will, not ours, to be done.    Friendship with the world results in spiritual adultery against God. 

But the other friendship is opposite of that with the world.  The other kind James talks about is Friendship with God (4:6-10)   Instead of running to friendship and intimacy with this world, we should be running to friendship with God.   This friendships origins do not come from the desires of the flesh, instead come from the gracious desire of God. By God's grace He will produce the fruit of faith in you. Go to Him. Trust in him.   Augustine said "give me grace to do as you command, and command me to do what you will."   God is merciful, gracious, all loving, and He all that we need to obey His bold commands.   Friendship with God is also motivated by a longing for eternal satisfaction.  Friendship with God realizes that if we seek friendship of the world now, we will experience the opposition of God for eternity. Friendship with God results in submission to the authority of God.   

If we want to grow in intimacy with God, these are the things we ought to do.

-Resist the Devil forcefully

-Seek God repentantly

-Pursue purity

-treat sin seriously

-And we should trust God completely.  God will give you grace in your humility, and He will be the one to raise you up. We do not need to do that on our own.